The Long Walk

The Long Walk

Recently, the Alzheimer’s Association sponsored their Walk to End Alzheimer’s. It was a lovely day to walk and we joined many other people for this good cause. We were part of a team from my caregivers support group and it was really nice to be among so many friends. I had said I was going to finish the walk, no matter how long it took. Well, it didn’t work out that way. My heart finished the walk, but my body said “Not in this life Sweetheart – not without better preparation!” I found a very nice butt-high rock to sit on and Cindy went to get the car. I walked about half of the two mile walk. I was very disappointed in myself , but I realize that preparing for the walk was also my responsibility. But sitting in the shade, next...

The Truth About Lying

The Truth About Lying

Somewhere in my head, I can still hear my father saying  “Don’t lie to your Mother!” I tried very hard not to lie to either of my parents, well, except for that one time when…. Okay, so I did lie to them on occasion, but I always felt very guilty. As my mother slipped into the darkness that is Alzheimer’s, I learned the truth about lying. There is a concept called “therapeutic lying.”  At some point, you need to travel to the world where your loved one is. You are not lying to be deceitful, you are lying to protect them. One of my mother’s sisters, she had five, had died years earlier. My mother could not travel back to where her sister lived and was not there for the funeral. Fast forward several years. My mother...

Doors Doors Doors

Doors  Doors  Doors

“Too Many Doors” may sound odd, but it makes perfect sense, put in perspective. As my mother’s mental health failed, going with her to all her doctor’s appointments became more important. She was in a wheelchair, and a transport would take us from the care facility where she lived to whatever doctor she was to see. This day, we had gone to a dermatologist. She had a spot on her back that didn’t look right. The doctor determined it should be removed in his office. The procedure turned out to be more involved than first thought, and more painful. When we were finally done, and waiting in his outer office for the transport, my mother was very quiet. As the disease had progressed, our conversations became less and less. I could tell she...

And So It Begins

And So It Begins

I’m starting something new today, but then, isn’t life about starting new things? We venture down new roads all the time. Sometimes we stop traveling though and go back to the familiar. There is most often comfort in the familiar. However, learning and growing does not happen in the familiar. Being a caregiver was something new, but necessary. I realize caregiving as such, is becoming more common. It once was simply what you did. You cared for a family member or friend in need, without question. Now caregiving has become a business. There are professional caregivers. Being a care giver for my mother was not a job. There were times when it was not a joy. But it was what I chose to do. My mother had both Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases....